indecisive

there are some people you can just never be angry at, no matter what they do. in some cases there are people that repeatedly stab you in the back but still and claim that they "love" you. you just keep playing the game of forgive and forget, and accept it all in the moment of things. you realise that these are the types of people that you dont want to be associated with and try to break away, the nightmare is finally over - you can stop screaming. things are going great till you cant avoid them any longer, and thats when they drag you back down with them (what bastards). in my case i know that my person is ashamed of who i am. all im gonna say is unless you get on a fucking coffee stand like seth cohen, you are just another figment of my imagination.

yes

yes its that time of the year again. mid year exam schedules are out...
frantic,
stressful,
restless,
tense,
demanding,
nerve-racking,
tiring,
panicked,
hectic, Hectic, HECTIC
times are ahead for us all - ew rank aaaaaaargh!!

goal: this time i might try studying a bit harder and not get dissapointed when i do shit. instead ill actually try as opposed to half-trying.
plan b: hello bikini girls as first career preference.

mixed messages

there once was a girl. pretty ordinary i'd say. whilst growing up she had been experimental. she was experimental but not to the point where it was like "oh my god! off the rails!!!" experimental or anything like that. in the past she had walked a selection of "dark paths" and sacrificed a motherload (friends, family, money ect ect) for stupid things and stupid people. so this girl was confused right? - confused about who to trust/love and to be honest she became a bit of a cowardly character. one night when things went haywire a nice boy (his token piece of clothing was a heanie (and yes i am referring to the disgusting head attire of a hat-beanie), but i'll let that slide...) decided to play prince charming and tell her that she was a "nice girl that deserved to be treated right". at this point she was like whaaaaaaaaat? because this boy had previously been the enemy in the story. she thought this was just an act which would later follow with the boy doing some sort of backstabbing. but like that wasnt the point at this point in time cuz she had a brilliant plan. she decided that she would never be hurt again. in doing this she built a wall (forgot to mention she was a bricky too): some boundaries to stop herself from getting her hopes up. long story short feelings for the boy were blossoming and this whole boundary thing was going on and she was being a bit of a bitch to that boy even though she really did like him. in primary school there was that thing where if a boy is mean to a girl then that means he likes her - it was kinda like that in this case, but the other way round kinda, eh whatever. she later found out that the whole time he had genuinely liked her with no backstabbing attached. "liked" being past tense if you didnt pick that up. in conclusion the story ends with the girl still getting hurt, she was just too paranoid/scared and the girl ended up losing her chance and shooting herself in the foot. the end.
what
a
pickle.

for ej carter

myspace is so a thing of the past.
but thank you erin for introducing me to this picture
- it entertained me and horrified me at the same time

you know who you are...

"No More"

Since you’ve been gone
All I wanted was for you to come
Back to me say sorry, baby I was wrong
But I waited my faith was strong this hurt could be undone
Time goes by
And hope subsides
I fell for way too long

I don’t know any change
cus I was always imagining we’d be together
cus I loved you
And now you’re standing here
I realize time really heals
cus I feel better
than I could be

I cried for so many nights
Wishing you’re by my side
My heart’s so tired of breaking
Suddenly here you are
You’re saying all the words
I was waiting for
But I don’t want you no more

You got the same smile you did before
Used to make me weak in the knees
I look in your eyes used to drive me wild
But I already made my peace
Who knew there would come a time
When you said yes and I said no
Cuz I miss ya so long since you’ve been gone
I’ve been tryin’ to let you go

I don’t know any change
cus I was always imagining we’d be together
cus I loved you
And now you’re standing here
I realize time really heals
cus I feel better
than I thought I could be

I cried for so many nights
Wishing you’re by my side
My heart’s so tired of breaking
Suddenly here you are
You’re saying all the words
I was waiting for
But I don’t want you no

No more sleepin’
With the lights turned on
No more weepin’
Cuz you didn’t come home
No more lonely
Inside this heart
Your love don’t live here anymore

I cried for so many nights
Wishing you’re by my side
My heart’s so tired of breaking
Suddenly here you are
You’re saying all the words
I was waiting for
But I don’t want you no more

yes this post is targetted at someone
they know who they are... *angry face angry face angry face*

!

i remember a day of shopping, indie jokes, reece driving gab and myself around, rain, iceyice, chicken sandwhiches, wrestling eugene and chris for my phone before i get "i am as gay as ellen degeneres" sent to all of my friends, chips and potatoe cakes, attempting to learn how to play xbox (and failing) and chris' fisheye.

swerve

bored on a friday night and looking through my ipod. i went through my notes and found some stuff written down from devising on nida...

1. the ultimate existance would be if santa was real
2. if i could have super powers i would be invincible
3. the greatest swerve from the norm in the world would be not wearing clothes
4. what seems unobtainable is real success
5. i want more communication
6. i wish for dad to love me
7. i love seamonkeys
8. a rule i hate is "no hat no play no school today"

right. how peculiar...

as much as i love being at school we have yet another long weekend! i have a strong gut feeling homelife isnt going to be great this weekend. father michael is going to be unreasonably homosexual again and things are going to be over dramatized once more. i wish things would go back to how they used to be...

something new

sitting in private study while making a blog.
as opposed to doing drama production work, photography written or graphing maths i decided to make my own space.
every possible blog name was taken, it was rediculous!!!
effectively using my time - obviously.